Dealing with Relationship: Abide in My Love

Scripture: John 15:9–14

“As the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” – John 15:9 (NKJV)

Relationships rise and fall on the presence—or absence—of love. Real love. The kind that holds steady in storms, that forgives wrongs, that shows up even when it’s hard. In John 15:9–14, Jesus doesn’t just talk about love—He commands it, models it, and makes it the foundation of life in Him.


Love That Comes from Above



Jesus says, “As the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you.” That’s a profound statement. The same eternal, perfect love that flows between the Father and the Son is now extended to us. This isn’t emotional, unstable, or circumstantial love. It’s divine—steady, sacrificial, and supernatural.

That’s why Jesus says: “Abide in My love.” In other words, live in it, rely on it, and let it shape how you treat others.


Love Is Obedient



Some think love is just a feeling, but Jesus links love to obedience:
“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love…” (v.10)

Loving Jesus isn’t just about saying it with your lips—it’s about showing it with your life. And one of the key commands Jesus gives is this:

“Love one another as I have loved you” (v.12).

This sets a high standard. How did Jesus love us?
  • He loved us sacrificially, laying down His life (v.13).
  • He loved us unconditionally, not because we were perfect but because He chose us.
  • He loved us intentionally, seeking us, forgiving us, restoring us.
 

Love Requires Sacrifice



Verse 13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
In our context, that might not mean dying physically—but it will mean dying to self. Dying to pride. Dying to being right. Dying to selfishness.

True love in relationships means giving up your comfort for the sake of someone else’s good.

This is the model Christ gives, and it’s the model we are called to follow.


You Are My Friends…



Jesus then makes a powerful declaration: “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you” (v.14). His invitation to love others isn’t just a moral suggestion; it’s the mark of discipleship.

Loving like Jesus reveals that we truly belong to Him.


Reflection Questions:

  • How has Christ’s love shaped the way you treat others?
  • Do you lead with grace, or hold back affection until it’s earned?
  • Are you abiding in His love daily?
  • How do your words and actions show that you live in the love of Jesus?
  • In what relationships is God asking you to love more sacrificially?
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Where do you need to lay something down to lift someone else up?

Closing Thought:
Love isn’t always easy. But when we remain rooted in the love of Christ, we find the power to love others as He has loved us. In a culture of disposable relationships, let us be people who abide in His love and extend it to everyone around us—family, friends, and even enemies.

Let love be more than a word—let it be your lifestyle.

📖 Next in the series: Be a Barnabas – The Power of Encouragement (Acts 9 & 11)

Dealing with Relationship: Be a Barnabas: The Power of Encouragement

Scripture: Acts 9:26–28; Acts 11:21–26

“Then Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles…” – Acts 9:27 (NKJV)

Have you ever had someone believe in you when no one else would? That’s what encouragement does—it bridges the gap between rejection and restoration, fear and faith, doubt and destiny. Barnabas, known as “the son of encouragement,” lived out this calling with bold compassion.

In a world filled with critics, God calls His people to be encouragers.


Encouragement Builds Bridges



In Acts 9, Saul (later known as Paul) tries to join the disciples after his dramatic conversion. But they’re afraid. His past was notorious—he had persecuted the Church. They didn’t trust him. But Barnabas stepped in.

“But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul… had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus.” (v.27)

Barnabas saw potential where others saw problems.
He gave Paul a platform when others shut the door. That’s what encouragers do—they help people cross into their calling.


Encouragement Is a Ministry



In Acts 11, revival breaks out in Antioch, and who does the church send? Barnabas. He wasn’t just a cheerleader—he was a trusted leader with a heart to strengthen others.

“When he came and had seen the grace of God, he was glad, and encouraged them all that with purpose of heart they should continue with the Lord.” (v.23)

And what does Barnabas do next? He goes to find Paul. The man he once defended, he now develops.

“Then Barnabas departed for Tarsus to seek Saul. And when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch.” (v.25–26)

Encouragers don’t just say kind words—they build up ministries. They find gifts in people and help bring them to maturity. Paul became one of the most impactful voices in Church history, and it started with someone who believed in him.


Be a Barnabas in Someone’s Life



Encouragement is more than compliments. It’s noticing someone’s spiritual need and being willing to walk with them. When people feel rejected, misunderstood, or forgotten, your words can bring healing.

Encouragement is prophetic. It speaks to what God sees, not just what man sees.


Reflection Questions:

  • Who are you called to encourage right now?
  • Who needs your voice to lift them up when they feel pushed down?
  • Are you willing to stand in the gap like Barnabas did?


Even if it means others question your judgment?

How can you be intentional about encouraging spiritual growth in others?

What gifts can you help affirm and develop?

Closing Thought:

Encouragement is a holy assignment. It doesn’t require a title, but it does require a heart. Like Barnabas, we are called to walk with people through their transformation, to be the voice that reminds them of God’s purpose when they forget. In a discouraging world, be a light that speaks life.

Encourage someone today—you may be unlocking the next Paul.

🔗 Read more in this series at 
📖 Next in the series: The Debt You Cannot Repay – The Power of Forgiveness (Matthew 18)

Dealing with Relationship: The Debt You Cannot Repay: The Power of Forgiveness

Scripture: Matthew 18:21–28, 32–35

“Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” – Matthew 18:33 (NKJV)

Forgiveness is not easy. It’s one of the hardest commands in all of Scripture—yet one of the most powerful. When we’ve been wounded, betrayed, or wronged, our natural response is to protect ourselves or seek justice. But Jesus offers a higher way: forgive as you’ve been forgiven.

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells a parable that confronts the unforgiving heart and reveals the seriousness of holding on to offense.

Forgiveness is not an option in the kingdom—it’s a command.


How Much Should I Forgive?



Peter asks, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” (v.21) He probably thought he was being generous. But Jesus replied, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (v.22).

Jesus wasn’t giving a number—He was revealing a mindset. Forgiveness must be unlimited, ongoing, and from the heart. Why? Because God’s forgiveness toward us is endless.


The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant



Jesus tells of a king who forgave his servant an unpayable debt—ten thousand talents. The servant begged for mercy, and the king, moved with compassion, forgave him (v.27).

But this same servant then found a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller amount—just one hundred denarii—and refused to forgive him. He choked him, demanded payment, and had him thrown in prison (v.28–30).

When the king found out, he was furious.

“You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” (v.32–33)

The king reinstated the debt and handed him over to tormentors. Then Jesus gives this sobering conclusion:
“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”(v.35)


Forgiveness Is a Heart Issue



Unforgiveness is spiritual bondage. It keeps you chained to the pain and prevents you from experiencing the full grace of God. When we refuse to forgive, we put ourselves back in the prison Christ set us free from.

But when we forgive, we reflect God’s character. We release the offense, and we release ourselves.

Forgiveness is not about ignoring the pain—it’s about trusting God with the justice.


Reflection Questions:

  • Is there someone you need to forgive today?
  • What’s holding you back from releasing them?
  • Do you see forgiveness as a gift you’ve received—and now must give?
  • How does remembering your own debt to God help you forgive others more freely?

Closing Thought:

The cross is the clearest picture of forgiveness: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He paid a debt we could never repay and now calls us to extend that mercy to others. Your healing doesn’t begin when someone says “I’m sorry.” It begins when you say, “I forgive you.”

Don’t carry a debt that Jesus already canceled. Forgive, and be free.